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[hyperkinesia]

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[arcreact]

[ Old buddy old pal, ]

you do not want the honest answer to that question

[hyperkinesia]

I do want the honest answer to that question.

So: how are things going?

[arcreact]

well
i think i've finally reached the point where people are running out of very alarming things to tell me?
so that's promising


unless you've got anything hidden up your sleeve?
i'd recommend getting it out now, if so

[ Anthony Edward Stark presents 'The Art of Not Actually Answering That Question'. ]

[hyperkinesia]

Well...
Have you been told about Extremis yet?

[ Robert Bruce Banner bringing you 'Let Me Tell You More Awful Shit That Goes Down'. ]

[arcreact]

[ oh jesus christ WHY ]

what
wait, are you kidding me?
no

[hyperkinesia]

[ Sorry, Tony. ]

Well, I can just not tell you if you don't want to hear it. But if you do, then that's definitely a story.

[arcreact]

yeah, because i always turn down pertinent information just because it's unpleasant

[ GDIT ]

you know what, you may as well gimme the spark notes

[hyperkinesia]

Alright. I can do that. Sorry in advance.

[ This is also an interesting turnabout, but Bruce doesn't point that out. Luckily for Tony, Bruce isn't going to be nearly as long-winded as Tony was when he told him about all this. ]

Aldrich Killian owned AIM— Advanced Idea Mechanics. He invented Extremis, a gene therapy that allows the human body to instantly regenerate damaged tissue. It can go as far as regrowing severed limbs in a matter of seconds. He gathered a number of soldiers enhanced by this therapy under his command.
It's not an entirely stable system, though, so it didn't work for all of them. Some actually died. And by 'died' I mean basically exploded. To cover up those explosions, he hired this actor to pretend like he was a terrorist called Mandarin, and that the 'bombings' were his doing, while he went on with his plan to off the president. He had leverage over the vice-president, so he wanted him to take over the president's seat, while Killian pulled the strings and effectively gained power over the whole of the US government. Theoretically.

In the middle of all this, he had some kind of vendetta against you, because when his company was just getting started you refused to fund him and his research. So he kidnapped Pepper and subjected her to the treatment, thus infusing her with the Extremis.
You went to get her, and he locked you up too. He went off to set up some kind of grand spectacle in which the president was murdered on live TV, apparently by the Mandarin. You and Rhodes went on to end the whole thing. Rhodes managed to save the president, Killian started to fight you. He also had the Extremis, for the record.
You found Pepper in the meantime, but in the middle of the fight, she fell from some incredible height, and you thought she'd died. Pretty sure she thought she'd died too. But when Killian was about to end you, she showed up again and killed him.

[ Yeah he's not pulling any punches there. Tony appreciates honesty, right? ]

When she was here before, she still had the Extremis. She told me about this even before I knew about it back in our world. I went back home and went forward a little over a year, and you told me even more about the whole thing while I was there.
In the end you managed to get the Extremis out of her, though. Don't ask me how, you didn't get that far in your story. The whole point is that ended kind of well? Sort of.
Oh, you blew up all your suits at the time. All 40 of them. [ WEEP, TONY. ]

1/???

[arcreact]

[ There's a long pause before the responses roll in, and when they do, there's roughly 30 seconds between them, like he thinks he's done asking questions only to think of more, and asks them without waiting for answers to the earlier ones. ]

Aldrich Killian? who the hell is
actually wait
i remember that guy
i met him at a conference
i think
i don't know
i was drunk

[arcreact]

Bruce
how do you THEORETICALLY take over the whole US government???

[arcreact]

actually hang on
Extremis like Maya Hansen's Extremis?
you're telling me she upgraded from blowing up plants to blowing up people?

[arcreact]

i figured that equation out while i was drunk over a decade ago
why is she blowing up PEOPLE????

[arcreact]

why the hell did i blow up all my suits
why were there 40 of them
i don't have 40 suits

[ Yet. HE COULD CRY. ]

[arcreact]

ARE YOU SURE PEPPER'S OK?

I'M DONE I'M SO SORRY

[arcreact]

what the fuck
this all sounds fake

[ His brain seems to have ground to a halt around here, so Bruce is spared for now. ]

LMAO NO I LOVE THIS Tony criticizes his own timeline, A+

[hyperkinesia]

I'm not in on all of the details. You were very thorough but also long-winded and I dozed off a couple of times. But I think Maya didn't know the full scope of the Extremis's side effects.
And yes, Pepper's fine. She had a bit of trouble learning to control it while she was here, but she was incredible. And back home that got sorted out soon after things settled down, so I can say with absolute certainty that she's alright.

Sorry. It sounds insane, I know, but it's what happened.

[arcreact]

[ Well. That sounds like Pepper, at least. Pepper being incredible: the only believable part of that story. ]

i need to stop asking questions

[hyperkinesia]

[ Well everything else is true too, Tony may as well get used to it. ]

Not a bad idea.
For what it's worth, I don't have any other terrible stories to tell.

[arcreact]

[ From back home, from the future, sure. But as far as shitty stories go, they definitely haven't talked about stuff like C-Primary, for example. Which they can talk about never. ]

finally ran dry?
well, i'm not complaining
we can go back to all cheer all the time

[hyperkinesia]

[ By 'horrible stories' Bruce is talking about horrible stories involving Tony, not him. If that were the case, they'd be texting for a good while and have more than enough to fill a book, and it would be a pretty horrible book. ]

Well I can't guarantee that either, but at least you can get a break from sour revelations about your future.

[arcreact]

good
'cause it's way more fun to make my own gigantic mistakes
i feel like i'm trapped in my own screwup shadow

[ He's kidding, but he's also not. That is literally The Feel. ]

[hyperkinesia]

We could definitely go without any of your gigantic mistakes anytime soon, just for the record.
I mean, not that I dislike the intellectual challenge, but still.

[ Shit hits the fan often enough around here without it being anyone's fault. Best to not add to the pile. ]

[arcreact]

[ He's doing his best, Bruce. But then again, isn't he always, isn't that the whole problem. ]

aw, did you just tell me my huge fuckups intellectually stimulate you?
that's the most romantic thing anyone's ever said to me

[hyperkinesia]

[ Well there is that saying about paving certain roads with good intentions... ]

Quit it, Tony. I don't care how much you ask, I'm not leaving my girlfriend for you.

[ Said with as much humor and sarcasm as Tony's original text. ]

[arcreact]

are you sure?
c'mon
if we both gave up this childish commitment to heterosexuality we could have the smartest brainbabies ever